Mi querido Chile

Thank you for...

The words you have given me. I can better express what I feel now.

La comida rica, las empanadas, la charquicán y el pisco sour. 

The people I have gotten to know. My host nieces and nephews, my program director, my host family, my fellow gringos, interesting hostel guests. 

Showing me how to live in the present. Teaching me that time passes through me, not I through it.

Allowing me to accept that I don't have control over everything. Sea lo que sea, como Dios quiera.

Your geographical variety. The mountains to the east, beaches to the west, desert to the north, polar to the south. 

The changes that I have yet to recognize within myself and my perspective on the world.

Chile, junto a decirte chao, yo te pido que cuando regrese que aceptes la diversidad de la gente que hay en el mundo. I sincerely hope that, someday when I return, everyone is welcome, respected, and accepted in Chile-- the gays and the transgendered; the Protestants and the Muslims; the blacks and the Amerindians; the women who want abortions and those who have children out of wedlock; those with Mapuche last names and those with German ones; the blondes and the brunettes; the Peruvians and the Bolivians; and everyone else who would like a home, if only temporary, in Chile.

Soy gringa sí, pero hablo castellano.

Hypothetical situation:
As I'm walking down the street in DC, I see a woman walking in the other direction. I assume she's a Mexican because of her skin color, facial features, and tight clothing. She approaches me and says, in English but with an accent, "Pardon, how do I go to the White House? Is there a tram?" Instead of responding to her in English, I assume her first language is Spanish and start talking to her in Spanish with a US accent.

Of course, this would be wrong of me in many ways:
1a. Assuming nationality based on perceived race/ethnicity and stereotypical style
1b. Even if the woman's nationality or ethnicity (for example, "latina") are correctly guessed, that does not mean she speaks Spanish. Brazilians speak Portuguese; Belize English; Haiti French... And many people in every country do not speak the official or majority language. For instance, there are many latinos who speak only indigenous languages, especially in Bolivia and Guatemala.
2. Responding in a different language than the one in which I was addressed; ignoring the woman's original choice of language
3. Interpreting an accent as the lack of knowledge of a language as opposed to difficulty pronouncing sounds that are not present in her native language
4. Not considering that the woman may have come to the US for the purpose of learning English
5. Implying that my Spanish language skills and accent are better than her English ones without much to back up that claim
6. Implying that she is uneducated and disinterested in other cultures
7. Lack of recognition of the diversity of people; thinking "all Mexicans/latinos don't speak English"
8. Interpreting use of correct yet uncommon words as unfamiliarity with English rather than familiarity with another dialect of English

Fortunately, this type of situation is not common in the US. However, this happens to me every day in reverse while I'm in Latin America. It's extremely frustrating and insulting to me. I imagine it's even more so to Europeans or Canadians who are often assumed to be from the US, especially those who do not speak English at all or at least not as a native language.

And, finally, another note: If you're not being understood by a non-native speaker, consider that it might not have anything at all to do with language. The actual concept may be difficult to understand or remember (ex. complicated directions); the process/product may be unfamiliar to the person due to cultural not lingual differences; it might be difficult to hear you; or you just might not be making any sense.

Buenos Aires

Big Apple, París del Sur, Capital de Tango, Ciudad de Libros

Things I notice about BA...

It's the most racially, ethnically, and culturally diverse Latin American city I've visited. I see people of African and Asian descent and whites with all different hair colors. There are Italian restaurants and reggae type shops. People are speaking a variety of languages and signs are written in Spanish, English, and Portuguese.

It's a tall, dense city. Yes, there are plaza-parks like all cities founded by Spaniards, but they are smaller and less frequent. Instead, there are tight blocks, one way streets, and multi-story buildings.

Everything is old. The streets are cobblestone, buildings original, refurbished US school buses from several decades ago make up the public fleet, and the metro trains and stations are reminiscent of the 70s. While this can be inconvenient and sometimes impractical, it does give a special character to the city.

Everything is broken and leaking. Part of this is because of the age of the infrastructure. The high inflation, unemployment, and slowness of government work also play a significant role.

Porteños love book stores. They're everywhere. There aren't near as many pharmacies as there are in Santiago (which means there's a normal amount here).

The metro system is terrible. It's closed when it rains, requires several transfers to get pretty much anywhere, has old confusing creepy stations, is limited by strikes, and doesn't go to much of the city.

There is little cat calling compared to the other Latin American cities I've been to. In fact, I haven't been cat called even once and have only heard a couple incidences of it.

Women wear shorts, dresses, and skirts more frequently. They are not expected to wear pants all the time.

There are always Argentines who want to exchange US dollars on the streets. Because of the high inflation of the Argentine peso, most companies and apartment building owners establish prices in dollars. But Argentines continue to be paid in pesos and the government continues to limit the number of US dollars that an Argentine can spend/withdraw via banks. Thus, Argentines are desperate for US dollars and go to the streets. They offer 6 pesos per dollar to outcompete the banks. The current official exchange rate established by the government and used by the banks is 4.9 pesos per dollar.

Gaga: Chile Edition

"Highway Unicorn"

First, I would like to write down some of the things Lady Gaga said and did during her performance last night (11.20.2012) in the Estadio Nacional in Santiago:

> Marijuana.... "Who's smoking marijuana here and not sharing any with me? Seriously I have to do this whole show smelling that. Where's my Chilean grass?"
> Her body. Slowly lifts up her skirt and shows her ass. Multiple times.
> Trying to speak Spanish and failing. Gringa accent to the max. And having to ask one of her background dancers how to say things and then repeating them poorly. I'm pretty sure most people understood her English better. It's weird though because her parents immigrated to the US from Italy. You'd think she'd be able to adjust to different accents/languages.
> Chilean flag. Dancing with it and wrapping it around her.

> "Who's that girl without the shirt?" "Are you legal? How old are you?" Doesn't understand the English. "What's your age?" Finally gets it and answers 20. "Keep your shirt off then. Nice tits."
> Dicks and pussies.... "I know it's hot and crowded up here. But it's time to get your dicks and pussies off the floor, Santiago."
> Fuck... "Do you give a fuck?" "Do you have work tomorrow? Well guess what?! I don't give a fuuuuuccckkkk! Let's just party and drink."
> Overt sexuality in the show. Clear sexual imagery on multiple occasions with both guys and girls dry humping her and pretending to perform oral sex through her costume.

----------------------------------------

In general, I think Lady Gaga is absolutely brilliant in so many different ways...

I. Musically
She does such a great job of incorporating several different styles and decades into her music. She's got a lot of 80's Madonna type stuff, modern pop, some bits of rap in her songs, even screaming in "Bloody Mary." All of this seems to come together to create albums that go together well and, in my opinion, contain no bad songs.

II. Social message
Lady Gaga understands sociological phenomena such as the gender binary, sexism and racism at a level that most people do not, especially not those in the entertainment industry responsible for the perpetuation of these oppressive societal systems. Beyond that, she is able to acknowledge and challenge them in ways that are accessible to both those who understand and identify them as such and those who do not. One does not need high levels of education in the social sciences in order to see that songs such as "Black Jesus" or "Born This Way" challenge these established sociocultural systems.
Perhaps Lady Gaga's most significant social messages have to do with sexuality and sexual orientation. She has always been very supportive of the queer community. 

"I met a girl in east LA...
We fell in love, but not in court" 

-Americano

I also admire Lady Gaga for her stances and openness about sexuality in general. She does not shame sexual desire in any way or any sexual practice, paid or free, oral or vaginal, solo or in multiples.

"I love that lavender blonde
The way she moves
The way she walks
I touch myself can't get enough
And in the silence of the night
Through all the tears
And all the lies
I touch myself and it's alright" 

-So Happy I Could Die

"I'm gonna love you with my hands tied
Show me your teeth
Just tell me when
Show me your teeth
Open your mouth boy"

-Teeth

"Put your hands on me,
John F. Kennedy
I'll make you squeal baby
As long as you pay me"

-Government Hooker

III. History, religion and geography

As with the sociological concepts above, Lady Gaga understands historical and religious patterns and is able to incorporate them brilliantly into pop songs. For instance, "Bloody Mary" comes to mind in regards to history. 

 "Love is just a history that they may prove
And when you're gone I'll tell them my religion's you
When Punk-tius come to kill the king upon his throne
I'm ready for their stones." -Bloody Mary

 

The religious imagery both in the lyrics of her songs as well as in her stage sets and costumes never ceases to amaze me. In terms of songs, there are: Black Jesus † Amen Fashion, Fashion of His Love, Electric Chapel, Bloody Mary, and Judas.

"My body is sanctuary

My blood is pure...

Pray for your sins

Right under the glass disco ball" 

-Electric Chapel

"Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain

Even after three times, he betrays me...

A king with no crown, king with no crown...

In the most Biblical sense I am beyond repentance

Fame hooker, prostitute wench, vomits her mind" 

-Judas

Gaga also shows knowledge of geography and geographical stereotypes.

"Something about my cool Nebraska guy...

I'm a New York woman, born to run you down..."

-Yoü and I

"I grew up in New York City,
Since I was born on Broadway, baby!
Moved downtown when I was just nineteen,
To start a new life on the New York scene."

-Black Jesus † Amen Fashion 

IV. Fashion
Lady Gaga's style consists of:
a) unconventional materials

From LA Times

b) shapes and structures not normally considered attractive

From Now Magazine

c) revealing and sexually provocative

From USA Today

Gaga clearly understands that fashion is a tool for the control of publicity and image.  In addition, the specific trends shown above show that she understands the power of fashion as self-expression of internal qualities and as the demonstration of ownership over one's own body and the way it is projected to the world. The use of unconventional shapes and materials shows a lack of conformity to the norm of beauty and challenges people to think outside of the box. Similarly, her sexually provocative clothing shows pride about and ownership of her sexuality. Again, she's challenging popular views about sexuality and its inherent "badness," especially when experienced by females.

V. Marketing, publicity, image
Lady Gaga has mastered the art of creating and controlling her image to maximize her popularity and the impact of her social messages. She is a genius in regards to when and what to release. She is constantly pushing boundaries (meat dress, strange outfits, sexuality, ambiguous religious references, etc) that land her in the press due to controversies, but not the trashy kind. She is never in the press for getting a DUI or filing a restraining order against someone. It's always due to planned actions on her part.
She appeals to the international market via:   
a) the inclusion of different languages in her music (Spanish in "Americano" and "Alejandro"; German in "ScheiBe"; small bits of French in several songs)

"Mis canciones son de la revolución

Mi corazón me duele por mi generación

If you love me we can marry on the west coast

On a Wednesday, en el verano en agosto" 

-Americano

"I don't speak German
But I can if you like, Ow!
Ich schleiben austa be clair (It's very clear to me),
Es kumpent madre monstere (I have the name mother monster)"

-Scheiße

b) appeal to different cultures via languages, history, religious motifs, racial recognition, and transnational social causes

Anyways, I really do admire Lady Gaga for her complete brilliance and her dedication to social causes.

Stay-at-home Dad in Latin America

I have yet to meet one person in Latin America who I know was raised with a male as their primary caretaker. Nor have I met anyone who did not assume that my father was the primary bread-winner and that my mother was in charge of cooking and cleaning.

When asked about my parents, the first question is usually, "what does your father do?" or, occasionally, "what do your parents do?" I tell them that my mom is an accountant and my dad stays home with my sister and my dog. The next set of questions is usually a combination of some of the following:

• Why? (Mom made more money when I was born.)
• Are they married? (Yes.)
• When does your mom cook/clean? (She doesn't. My dad does.)
• Did you have a nanny/maid/house cleaner? What about an aunt, grandma... that helped? (No.)
• How did you learn to sew, cook...? (Some of these things I never learned and never really desired to. Others my dad taught me.) 

Finally, they are left with only one option, reality: my father is a stay-at-home dad who does all the normal "feminine" tasks of cooking, cleaning, and child-raising in addition to the traditionally "masculine" chores of yard work, killing spiders, fixing broken things, etc.

But they are not done yet. They usually feel the need to offer some sort of commentary on the situation. So far, I have gotten two types of responses. One is admiration. Many women who are or have been stay-at-home moms admire what my dad has done. In many ways, I agree with them, but I also think it's because they don't realize that it is easier to be a stay-at-home dad in the US than in Latin America.

The second response is the regurgitation of cultural messages about gender roles. It usually involves implying that he is "poco hombre" (not very much of a man, effeminate) and informing me that "many latinos would call him a faggot." I get the feeling that they would call him that if they weren't talking to me. 

I love my dad and I wish people here could first see him as a great dad instead of a different dad or a dad being a mom. There is no reason why a man should not be a stay-at-home parent.

Personal and shared space

Personal bubbles are a lot smaller in Chile than they are in the US. People are a lot more packed in by the time they start to feel uncomfortable on public transport. Friends and acquaintances do the whole kiss routine in the air next to your cheeks. Friends touch each others shoulders and arms. There is no need for the empty chair between groups in public eating areas. If you're sitting next to someone in a waiting room, bus, etc. it's ok if your sides touch.

Personally, I prefer this smaller personal bubble. It's much more practical and makes relationships more affectionate. In terms of efficiency and economics, it makes a lot more sense. Less metro trains or buses are needed. Lower fares are possible. Waiting rooms and dining areas take up less space. In essence, everything involving more than one person takes less space for the same level of comfort.

Humans crave affection, physical touch. I don't (necessarily) mean romantically, but just generally. We like hugs, kisses from grandma, hand shakes, etc. Personally, I find it natural that friendships would include this kind of affection. The physical comfort and closeness seems like a natural extension to the emotional connection. It shows trust and care.

As I often do, I relate things in the human world to those in the canine. Not in a bad way... yes, I am comparing humans to animals, but you have to understand that I love and admire dogs. A lot. Anyways, when I see a dog, I approach it slowly and watch its reaction. I then move my hand close and see how it responds. I pet it in non-threatening areas, usually its back or side. Eventually, it might let me pet it head and neck or roll over to pet its stomach. A similar process occurs between dogs. These actions leave the dog vulnerable, its vital parts--neck, head, etc-- exposed to you, showing that it trusts you. It's the same with people. Physical closeness shows trust that you won't abuse it.

The physical closeness and affection that I have grown used to is something I will miss when I'm back in the US.

Boxed milk

Milk should not come in 1 liter boxes from a shelf and have an expiration date 6 months in the future. But here, and pretty much all of Latin America, it does. In the grocery stores, there are aisles with boxes and boxes of 1 liter containers of milk. Different brands, exact same stuff. Leche descremeda. Leche semidescremeda (1.2-1.5%). Leche entera. Leche semidescremeda chocolate, frutilla, chocolate plátano, chocolate manjar... Apparently they use some sort of super heating method that extends shelf life but leaves the milk tasting burnt. I find it pretty terrible, in fact. I'm looking forward to real milk again when I get back to the US.